“When you’re ready for love, it will find you.” Chances are, you’ve read that quote off someone’s unfortunate calf tattoo and thought to yourself, “Yeah, I’m ready for love. Definitely!” and “Oh man, I hope that’s a temporary tattoo.” But are you really ready for love? If you’ve been meeting the wrong guys – or not meeting anyone at all – here are a few signs that you’ve been sabotaging your dating life because you haven’t been quite as open to romance as you might have thought.
You’re suspicious of happy couples. Finding someone is tough – so tough that when you see a couple that seems genuinely happy, you immediately suspect a ruse. He’s probably gay or she’s probably a cheating on him, because you just cannot imagine love actually working out between anybody.
You’ve become cynical about romance. Not only are you suspicious of happy couples, but you roll your eyes at rapid fire speed whenever someone mentions Valentine’s Day (money making scheme invented by big business!) or when your best friend starts posting love poems or quotes about her man on Facebook.
You hate going on dates. A blind date would be your absolute worst nightmare because you can barely stomach going on a regular date. You have to get super dressed up and be all coquettish and it’s just annoying. Why spend a night having an awkward dinner with a stranger when you could just go have some sushi with your friends?
You haven’t learned from past relationships. You truly believe in your heart of hearts that your past relationships would’ve worked out if your boyfriends weren’t such nutbags who were full of issues. Of course, you did nothing wrong at all. It was all his fault!
You have ‘single’ celeb heroes. This past year, it pained you to see serial daters George Clooney and Cameron Diaz abandon their single life to get married. They were your single heroes! They were your light of hope that single people can be just as happy and fulfilled as people in relationships. Thank goodness you still have Taylor Swift’s grandiose single life to admire on Instagram.
You can’t stop talking about your ex. He’s the bad guy and you have issues to work out so you’re constantly rehashing the relationship and nitpicking everything he did wrong with your friends or (gasp) new guys you go out with. You wonder what could have been and you daydream of an alternate universe where you stayed together and lived happily ever after.
You don’t notice guys who really like you. You’re at a stoplight and a song comes on that reminds you of your ex-boyfriend. You get lost in thought and you fail to notice that the Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike in the next lane has been smiling at you, hoping to catch your eye before the green light.
Your dealbreaker list is extensive. If only you could find a shy but wild guy, who’s kind and smart and funny and sensitive… but not too sensitive because you don’t want to go out with a sissy. But he can’t be too macho, either, because you don’t want to date a knuckle-dragging caveman. And sure, he can be funny, but he’d better know how to get serious in the bedroom. But not too serious, because it’s fun to be silly in bed.
You’re overly critical of yourself. Your automatic response when someone compliments you is to come back with a rebuttal as to why he’s way off. It feels like a lie when someone tells you that you’re pretty or nice because, ew, have they seen your flat nose? And he only thinks you’re nice because he’s never seen you when you ‘hangry’ before. If you don’t believe nice things about yourself, how will you ever accept that a guy you’re dating believes them?
You don’t like getting personal. A big reason you sometimes dread going on a date is because whenever someone tries to get to know you, you think he’s being nosy and invasive. You’d prefer it if your dates could just talk about weather, current events and why Kim Kardashian should respect artistry and admit that the blue/black-white/gold dress debacle is what really broke the internet.
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